Fatso Rants

A Little Rant On Burgers

Considering Lafayette seems to have a new burger joint every week, I’m going to write my thoughts on what makes a good burger and then give the list of the top 10 burger places in Lafayette. I’ve eaten at most of them, so I feel like my list is pretty comprehensive.

A good burger is all about the bun. I’m not even kidding. In my opinion, the bun is ranked higher than the meat. I’d say about 60% of the importance of the ingredients on a burger is the bun. With the meat being 30%, the cheese making up 5%, and the rest being condiments. That’s how seriously I take a bun.

A burger should not be grilled. A burger is meant to be fatty and greasy, but not overly so. Burgers are the best on a flat top. Let them stew and crisp up in their own fatty grease. That’s a good burger. The meat should be seasoned well and I’m okay with just seasoning and sauces within the meat mixture. Adding garlic and onions is actually a plus in my book. I don’t mind a chunky burger.

The cheese should always be melted on the burger right before it’s finished cooking. Not just thrown on the top after taking the burger off the flat top. That doesn’t give the cheese enough time to melt correctly. That cheese should be dripping and hot when served.

Lastly, I don’t think condiments are that important when it comes to making a good burger. If the meat, bun, and cheese is good, then usually I can enjoy a burger just the same as if it had onions, lettuce, tomato, etc. on it. If you’re going to do onion, 2-3 large rings is best. One single sliced large tomato is enough. Not too thick, the meat and bun are the stars here, not a damn tomato. Lettuce is filler, but is a good barrier to keep your bun from getting too soggy. I’m actually okay with adding pickles. The saltiness of a good pickle can help a burger out. Mayo, mustard, other crap, who cares? If you’re going to add it, then don’t overdo it.

Seriously though, bun, meat, cheese in that order. That’s your base, and that’s what counts. Don’t get fooled by people adding a giant onion ring or pulled pork to the damn burger to get you to buy it. Bacon is always okay to add, but bacon is amazing.

Okay, onto my top ten burger places in Lafayette. I will be factoring in french fries into my process, because as you all should know, I love french fries.